Sabé's Journal
Part 2
When I awoke, the misgivings began setting in. Rabé and Eirtaé were not going to ask about the events of the night, but I knew they were dying to. They kept giving me those kind of looks. They had seen that I had been away much longer than I should have, and when I came back, that I looked flushed and flustered. Even though Rabé had been out too, she had been calm when I ran into her. I had the feeling the issue was going to be addressed sooner or later. I was going to make it later if possible. To that end, I planned to hide in the Royal bedchambers until Panaka or Padme called me out.
Panaka finally decided to come in and talk to me. He sent the other two handmaidens out, so we could speak freely. He paced back and forth. I realized that I was the only one he felt he could talk to on the ship. We not only had a long standing relationship, but he could not unload on any of the men under his command present. If he did, he would risk appearing uncertain and weak.
"Sabé, the Jedi keeps coming up with crazy plans and putting us all in a situation that goes from bad to worse," he fumed. "Now he's bet the Queen's ship on the entry fee to enter some kid in a pod race! That apprentice didn't even tell me, I overheard it as they spoke on the comlink. It's an awful long shot that a human can pod race at all, much less win."
I let him go on, while I nodded sympathetically. All he really needed was to blow off steam. He hated having no control over the mess we were in. I knew Amidala was none too pleased either, but what else was to be done? If it all did work out, I wanted to meet this boy. If a droid could be rewarded for what it was programmed to do, how much more did a child who was not even of the Naboo deserve our gratitude?
When the Captain had finished and left me, I pulled some files from the small library on board. Rabé and Eirtaé came back in the small room. Rabé joined me by the console, Eirataé kept her distance, but looked on.
"Found anything useful?" Rabé asked.
"Checking out our protectors," I said, pointing at the screen. "I've located what little there is on the Jedi. I've finally found a reference for Qui-Gon Jinn."
As we skimmed over the information, Eiraté got a little closer. She was curious, but didn't want to admit it.
Rabé shook her head while she read Qui-Gon's information. "He's got a record of being a risk-taker."
"True," I agreed. " But I have to note, he's successful more often than not. I hope his trend works in our favor."
As the day wore on, I passed the time by doing some simple exercises and reading more from the library. Rabé was absent again for awhile. I was starting to wonder about that. I didn't want to be suspicious, but habitual disappearances would not look good right now.
Later, the Queen arrived with the good news. The boy had won the race! We would soon be operational again. The Padawan was hard at work on our repairs, and we were waiting for the Jedi Master to finish some final errands.
Amidala was in and out of the chambers, and indicated she thought I should make an appearance soon, so I started to get the gown on before I called Rabé and Eirtaé to help. While doing this, I began thinking over what to tell the Queen about my conversation with the young Jedi. Seeing her here made me realize how what had happened could be awkward for her. After all, what if Obi-Wan mentioned the meeting or tried to follow up on it, assuming this was the same person he had spoken to in such a familiar way?
I was almost ready, and I was waiting for the right moment to tell Amidala of last night's incident, when suddenly chaos broke out. I heard a scuffle, voices, someone shouted that we must take off. The ship rose and moved about, I almost lost my balance and fell down. I was about to go and see what the problem was, when Rabé and Eirtaé rushed in.
"There's a fight, we're trying to pick up the Master and get out of here," Rabé shouted to me. "Just find a seat and wait." I nodded to indicate that I understood.
The altercation passed quickly. Qui-Gon made it safely onboard. It was time for us to have another meeting and get our bearings.
When Amidala was ready to continue as Padmé in her flame gown, we went to the throne room to get a report. Panaka and the Jedi were waiting, along with a boy, the one who helped us. The Master gave me a brief summary of the events on the planet and then brought the boy forward to take his share of the credit.
Anakin was extremely charming and respectful. When I heard he was a slave, my heart went out to the child. It seemed only right that we were taking him to a life that had to be better than what he was leaving. He was still wearing his simple slave clothing, and since he had just traveled through some rough ground, he had the dirt of the road on him. I stifled an urge to humorously order Padmé to clean this boy up now. Even on a good day, I could only go so far. I thanked him on behalf of Naboo, and promised that when our crisis was past, I would find a way to reward him. Amidala was in a far corner, and I could see that she approved of the idea.
The general meeting over, I announced that I was ready to take Padmé's report, and everyone else could be dismissed. Panaka, Anakin and the Jedi bowed and left. I was relieved that Obi-Wan had done nothing to even hint at our aquaintance as yet. I felt I better cover myself as soon as possible anyway.
Rabé and Eirtaé didn't move. I cleared my throat. "Um, you both may go," I said. Reluctantly they left, their eyes telling me that they expected to hear all about the meeting with Obi-Wan sometime soon.
Amidala noticed the looks they gave me. She stood there, confused. I stepped down off the throne, and in the heavy black gown, bended on one knee to her. "Your Highness, there's something I must tell you. While in your identity, a certain incident took place. I apologize for any problems this may cause."
Her expression changed instantly. She did not need the white face now, there was no doubt as to who was the Queen. She stepped up and sat on the throne. In her court voice, she said," Handmaiden, explain the nature of this incident."
I looked her straight in the eye. "Your Highness, last night in this throne room, the young Jedi Padawan and I were together. We talked, we worked out, and then there was a strong attraction between us. He did excuse himself before anything more happened. He thought I was you, and I did not correct him."
The Queen was silent, deep in thought for what seemed like a long time. At last, she spoke, "We believe that there will be no serious consequences from your actions. This seems to be the nature of the Jedi. Last night, the Master engaged in similar behavior with the boy's mother." Almost breaking character, she speculated, "We wonder if they use the Force in these matters."
"Most certainly, Your Highness," I affirmed. We both nearly laughed at that. I could tell that I was close to being off the hook.
Amidala straightened back up and finished her hearing. "Handmaiden, we do expect you to behave in a responsible manner while on duty. You will take care with your passions and avoid compromising activities while acting on my behalf or in my identity. In your own identity and off duty, your business is your own. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Your Highness. Thank you for your leniency." I bowed low, knowing that I caught a break with having a young Queen to work for.
She stepped off the throne, and then my friend was back at my side, with wide curious eyes and an impish grin. "So, Sabé-you're going to tell me about it, of course."
After I related what I could explain in words to Amidala, we walked back to join the other handmaidens in the bedchamber. We were very silent, and could hear a portion of the Jedi's conversation.
The deeper voice of the Master was colored with a tone I could almost call amused. "She's fourteen, you know."
There was a sound like an expelling of a mouthful of liquid, followed by the choking voice of the padawan. "Master?"
We covered our mouths to quiet our laughter, and moved on.
***
While enroute to Coruscant, we had some time to kill. I continued playing around with the library and drilling Eirtaé on her defense skills. She was weak in that area, her main tasks were etiquette and protocol. Very important abilities, but now she had to know more. Coming from a wealthy family made her seem a bit whiny and spoiled to me, but to her credit, she knew that she needed to get serious and learn what she could from me. This session wasn't going too well, though. Thank goodness we were only using dummy practice blasters.
"Eirtaé, grip the pistol and aim it firmly. Stop wincing and shrinking back," I ordered.
She looked exasperated. "I'm trying," she wailed.
Rabé looked on, studying the tension between us. She served as hairdresser to the Queen, but she was also a master at psychology. Good thing she was, too. If she couldn't explain Eirtaé's behavior to me later, I was going to have to throttle the rich kid.
Eirtaé's frustration was getting the better of her. "I shouldn't have to do this! I could have volunteered for the army if I wanted to do this! I'm just supposed to have a nice job worthy of my station."
I stopped trying to teach, and took deep breaths. "Eirtaé, you signed the same contract as the rest of us. This is something we all have to do."
"Sabé, I read the contract, but Naboo had been at been at peace forever before this. I had no idea I'd actually have to operate one of these things." She thrust the pistol toward me like it was something vile.
I took it from her. "Perhaps when we get to a proper firing range, you'll find it easier to practice. For now, if anything happens, stay behind me and Rabé."
She scowled at me. "I'll get the hang of it. Just let me have a break, alright?" I nodded.
Eirtaé stalked off darkly, while Rabé remained, still sitting on a side area of the throne room.
"What's wrong here, Rabé? I've been able to teach almost anybody, even Yané, who's had almost no confidence. But she just won't learn, she fights me every step of the way," said, sitting next to my cohort.
"She really is uncomfortable with the idea, but there's something else, Sabé. No one has mentioned it to you yet, but she almost didn't get this job. She somehow believes that you had something to do with that. Remember how there were two votes against you in the hearing?" I nodded. "One of those votes came from a representative of her region. They feared that voting you in would reduce her chances of success. That's only one of the reasons that she's quite jealous of you."
"Jealous? Of me?" I have to admit, this came as a surprise.
"Yes, that you can do some things better than she can is taking her some getting used to. She'll realize that her talents are different than yours and just as valuable. For all her talk of her position, she's insecure. Just keep teaching her, she'll find her role." Rabé continued, "And there's the matter of your encounter with the Jedi." At this , she grinned. "Trust me, she's very jealous of that. At the moment she's the only one of us without at least a minor relationship."
I laughed. "Minor isn't the word for mine, try non-existant. All we did was chat and experience a strong attraction. I wouldn't call that a relationship. Very nice, but there's nothing there that will last. Not that I wouldn't wish otherwise, but the reality is, I probably won't ever see him again after we land on Coruscant. I can't get attached." Rabé just smiled, like she had some delicious secret.
"So you say, Sabé. But Eirtaé doesn't know that. And she wouldn't mind even a 'meaningless' encounter right now," Rabé replied.
For some reason, this line of conversation made me squirm. I changed the subject. "But there's obviously a lot you know that I don't. Like your own relationship- I've been wondering where you were sneaking off to. One of the guards that escaped with us?"
She nodded, "I had my eye on him before we left Naboo, I just hadn't figured out how to break the ice. Being thrown together on the ship made things much easier. Wish me luck, my friend."
Besides my relief that the disappearences turned out to be harmless, I was pleasantly surprised and pleased for Rabé. "You've got it. So it seems that you are the only one really doing well, but she doesn't pick on you. Why antagonize me?"
"Precisely because I am doing well. I have a better chance at a stable future with a Naboo guard than you do with a wandering Jedi. She can use that to her advantage. Don't let her play you, Sabé. Just remember, it's a phase she's going through."
I sighed. "Alright, but that doesn't make it less difficult sometimes. Thanks, as always, for your gracious advice. I can see why the Queen needs you around to stay sane."
The Queen entered, with Eirtaé in tow. "I think this handmaiden is ready to continue her lesson. Shall we work together now, Eirtaé?"
She must have had some words with Amidala. She respectfully answered, "Yes, Your Highness," and went to pick up the blaster.
After a much more successful session, I called it off for the day. We packed the blasters in the case and started chatting.
"Your Highness, how is young Anakin doing? I hope the boy is settling in well after leaving Tatooine. About his reward- what about setting him up a home on Naboo? It seems to me that's what he needs more than anything, and it would be very easy to arrange. What do you think?" I asked.
Amidala looked distant. She was growing cooler the closer we got to Coruscant. I sensed that this was the way she felt she needed to prepare in order to present our case to the Senate. I didn't agree, but I was not going to be able to influence her about that.
"There is one need greater than a home for him. That's his mother. I'm not sure what we're going to do about that. I'll have to speak to my advisors when our trouble is past. Getting involved in a slavery issue could be touchy for us," the Queen said.
I was disgusted by the politics of it all. I didn't blame Amidala, all this was set up long before she came into power. That didn't mean I had to like it.
Then something seemed to bring her back out of her distant mood. "Oh, but you asked how he is settling in. He's been cold since he left the planet," the Queen told us. "I hope that he's not ill. I'll go check on him again soon."
A chime let us know that someone was requesting entrance to the room. I sat back on the throne in my disguise and let Rabé see who it was.
Panaka entered. He was here to tell us we were almost to Coruscant.
***
The Queen, Rabé, and Eirtaé were on their way to Senator Palpatine's office to discuss what options were available to solve Naboo's crisis. I was allowed to remain behind in the quarters reserved for us. I was off duty, but I might be called upon to relieve one of my group at any time, so I stayed alert and ready.
I wandered over to the window and studied the view of Coruscant. Some considered it a lovely place, full of interesting buildings, streets, levels and lights. It made me cringe. I longed for the green of the meadows, forests and swamps of Naboo. I was so glad that we had kept most of the land as it was, even if it meant that we had to depend on other worlds for some of our necessities.
While considering this, the comlink I was wearing chimed. One of our guards announced, "Handmaiden, a meal has arrived for you."
I sighed. It had to be Rabé was playing mother hen again. My appetite was lighter than it had been at home, true, but I did not need her to be so overprotective. "Alright send it in," I responded. I was still only going to pick at it.
I heard the door slide open. Still looking out the window, I directed, "Just put it anywhere." Then I turned around to deal with it. My heart lept with joy.
Instead of the delivery droid I was expecting, Obi-Wan was holding a tray containing one of the most elaborate dishes I have seen in a long time. He had a slightly puzzled look on his face, as if he really didn't know quite why he was here.
I swallowed hard, and steadied myself. I pushed the hood back to reveal my face and greet my unexpected guest. He looked me in the eyes and suddenly the expression changed to one of relief and delight. I liked that.
"I didn't know that Jedi's duties included providing nutrition to handmaidens," I smiled.
"For today, this Jedi's duties do," he quipped back, not missing a beat. He sat the tray down on the table in the outer room, setting up the utensils and beverages. "And really, I'm due a cushy assignment for a change. Sharing a gourmet meal with a beautiful woman should be on the roster more often." I was very pleased with the compliment, but tried not to blush about him again.
"You mean that you and Master Qui-Gon don't do that every week? I'm surprised, it's certainly not due to lack of interest," I stated, with a sly grin. "The two of you make quite a handsome pair. You must have many candidates for such an honor."
He put his hand on his chin and looked up in mock seriousness. "Ah yes, well, let's see...Master and I had a most interesting dinner a few weeks back with synthorations and a swarm of stinging Corellian mosquitos. On Kubindi, we scavenged for moss and leaves while evading some vicious little razorback creatures. And how could I forget that wonderful breakfast of purple flavorless goo that the Eurturpeans offered as their finest delicacy?"
I giggled warmly, and he faced me, hands in the air, pretending to concede my point. "You're right, Lady. We float along from one feast to another, such is a Jedi's lot." His smile let me know that he felt comfortable with me.
"Please, call me Sabé. And I always suspected as much. Now let's partake of your latest repast. I hope this will be a more pleasant experience for you than the ones you just spoke of," I said, seating myself at the table as he did.
His eyes met mine. Softly this time, he replied, "It already is, but not because of the food." A thrill ran through me.
Regaining my composure, I began eating, as did he. The dish was truly delectable, a Calamarian fish with a spicy sweet sauce. Fresh vegetables on the side cut into sticks and a bread of exotic brown color accented the meal. There was a Naboo wine, one of our rare crops and this was an especially good vintage. But seeing the bottle reminded me of home, and a wave of sadness washed over me.
Obi-Wan looked concerned. He reached out and touched my hand. "Don't let it sadden you. It's meant to remind you of the good things about your home and give you courage." He offered one of the extra napkins to me, so I could dab at the tears threatening to flow.
I sniffed, dabbed and nodded. Taking the glass into hand, I raised it to him. "Thank you, Jedi," I said as I raised the glass to my lips and sipped. I let my eyes meet his again.
His hand that had touched mine now clasped it. "Obi-Wan," he said.
"Yes," I smiled. "Thank you, Obi-Wan." At that moment somehow I knew that he realized I was the one who had impersonated the Queen with him. I couldn't yet say so, but I was glad he knew. It made me feel more free.
"There, do you feel better now?" he asked.
"Mostly. I'm going to worry until this is all over," I replied.
"I'll just have to give you something else to think about," he said. And with that, he kissed me. It was a soft, comforting kiss, my first. The warmth it generated made me want more. I returned it, matching and then exceeding the desire he opened with.
That's when something unexpected happened. I felt a brush of another mind opening to me- his mind. I broke contact and gasped. "What was that?" I asked.
He pulled away for a moment and gave me a look of surprise. " A link!" Then, in a flash, he pulled me into his lap. With the other hand, he clasped the back of my head, and guided me to his open mouth. We almost could have swallowed each other in that kiss, it was so deep. I was surprised that I could have that effect on anyone, much less a Jedi.
He tried sending me his thought. //Can you hear me this way?//
I attempted a response. //Yes, we can communicate like this?//
//Now we can. Let me try sending you a more complex thought// What he sent was on the verge of naughty. I felt the warmth of my cheeks as they burned with my mixed emotions.
Through the connection I told him, //The young men on Naboo never seemed to find me attractive, not like you do, anyway//
//Then the young men of Naboo are idiots, and don't deserve such as you,// he replied, his fingers caressing my cheek.
He pulled me closer for the next kiss, then his face suddenly fell into a disappointed look. "Oh no," he moaned.
"What's wrong," I asked, concerned.
"My master's calling me. Says the Council will be ready to see us soon," he said, somewhat embarrassed.
"So you have to go now?" I whined in dissapointment.
He rose, lifting me up with him, then gave me a hug and small quick kiss. "I'm sorry, I must go. Take care of your Queen, and take care of yourself, Sabé."
I let him out and watched him hurry down the hall. I hoped it wouldn't be the last time I'd ever see him.
Then I noticed our guard. He was Rabé's sweetheart. He smiled slightly, but not too much. He would be discreet, much to my relief. "Can I tell her it's alright to come back now?"
I rubbed my forehead, half embarressed, half amused. "Yes, you may. Thank you."
A few hours after Obi-Wan's visit, the Queen was readying for her Senate appearance. She had selected her most elaborate robe, thinking that it would impress everyone with the majesty of Naboo.
My orders were to continue to remain in the Senator's guest quarters. I would monitor what was going on, and staying out of sight would ensure that I could resume the Queen's position later.
When Amidala was almost ready, a signal sounded on the comlink. The guard outside recognized Anakin and announced him. Rabé was closest to the door, and decided to allow him in. I could view the door from where I was in the next room. I liked Ani and I was hoping the Queen would agree to see him.
When he entered and asked for Padmé, I could see the worry in his eyes. He was putting on a brave face, but he needed to speak to his friend before his test, the one he trusted most with his heart and soul-the girl he already loved.
I glanced up at Amidala when she looked through the doorway to see who had arrived. I met her eyes and with my expressions tried to convince her.
::Tell him the truth, Your Highness. He has earned the right to know. He will not betray you!:: I wanted to shout it out, but I could not.
She turned away from me. Her expression remained cool. My effort had failed. Only her voice softened slightly, as she told Anakin that she would relay his message to Padmé. She returned to the inner chamber. It's the only time I've ever been angry with her.
The boy, looking as though he felt hollow, turned to go. Rabé seemed as dissapointed as I was. I nodded at her, and walked over to the boy before he left the room.
"Ani," I said, kneeling so I could look at his face. I put a hand on his shoulder. Slowly, I spoke. "You must know that I cannot promise this, but if it is possible, I will send Padmé to see you."
He gave me that intense look. "You understand."
"Yes Ani, I understand. I too, am away from home, far from family who love me and there is someone I care for who is near, but has duties to perform."
He grabbed my hand, we gave each other a quick clasp of support. Then he left for his test.
***
I was watching the Senate in progress, it was now time for the Queen to speak. As the vidscreen showed me the lack of support, we were getting, I had to slump back in my chair. Even Amidala could not prevail against the monster this body had become. I wiped away the tears that came while thinking of how much longer our people would have to endure.
The Queen excused herself as soon as she could and made her way back to our temporary quarters. She changed into her next outfit, a lovely black kimono. The four of us tried to avoid speaking of Naboo, it would hurt too much to think of home now.
"Anyone want a break?" I asked. I was fresh and ready to get out of this room. I'd been cooped up too long.
"Your Highness, may I take Sabé up on her offer?" Rabé spoke, anticipation in her eyes. Amidala, well aware of her relationship with the young guard, who we had finally come to know as Rowan, gave her a knowing look.
"Finish my hair, and you may go," Amidala told Rabé, in a stately, yet still warm tone. It was obvious that she approved of the couple. I smiled. After I had spoken with Rowan a short time, he seemed like a very good man, and I was happy for them both.
The only one who looked less than pleased was Eirtaé. Oh, she managed a half hearted smile, but then busied herself with details of the Queen's gown and said nothing. I could see that this was not going to do. I didn't want to go so far as to pair her with someone myself, but I couldn't let this envy develop into full blown jealousy either. We had to keep our focus together as a team, not as girls competing for the best male specimen.
"Eirtaé, I think you did well with your last blaster pistol session. Now, why don't you share your area of expertise with me? Since I'm about to go to the Senator's office for the first time, brief me on what happened before, and procedures I have to follow in my role there." It was the first time I had ever asked for her advice.
The handmaiden brightened at my inquiry. She began talking all about what it was like, how it looked, what Palpatine had said, where we were supposed to stand. I listened, nodded and took as much of it in as I could. I didn't like all of what I heard, especially the statement by the Senator on accepting Federation rule. Before, he had been the one to promote the vote of no confidence. I couldn't yet isolate the reason, but there was something I was uncomfortable about-things just didn't seem right.
We finished the Queen's preparations, then got on our cloaks. The three of us exited the quarters to find the Gungan that had tagged along wandering about in the hall. My first instinct was to reprimand the guards for letting him linger so close to the Queen. I had not learned yet to be comfortable with him around, despite Amidala's reassurances that he was harmless and not at all like the stories we heard. For me as a child, the Gungans were what was going to get me if I was bad. Later, I was taught that they were simply not to be trusted, barbarians to be avoided whenever possible. I generally don't like prejudice, but I was having a hard time overcoming my own. I tensed, and kept a vigilant eye on him.
A long, winding walk later, I was on duty with Eirtaé in the Senator's office, keeping watch on Her Highness. We had been there for some time now, awaiting news from Palpatine and Panaka. The Gungan did know to keep his distance, so I had started to let my guard down a bit. Now Amidala was looking out a window, contemplating the city, much the same as I had done earlier. The creature moved closer to her, seeming to begin a conversation. I could not hear what they spoke of, they were using lower tones. Since the Queen did not indicate that she was threatened, I stayed back and let them talk.
A few moments later, Panaka burst in with Palpatine. They were very excited as they told us their news, that Palpatine was in the running for Supreme Chancellor. Everyone seemed pleased with this. Everyone but me.
I had no solid evidence to back me up, so there was nothing to be gained by telling the Queen my feelings. What really sent chills up my spine was the way he spoke when he declared that he would be Supreme Chancellor. It was obvious that he had no doubt of this. At that point, I realized the danger that he represented was worse than any child's nightmare of Gungans.
Amidala must have felt something though. She asked about a few points that she was concerned with, then quickly made the decision that we were returning to Naboo.
While Panaka readied the ship and we packed, the Queen was in deep thought. I could tell she was planning something, but I had no clue as to what it would be.
Our preparations done, we headed back to the ship. Amidala was now in a purple traveling gown, we were in our orange/yellow sunset outfits. I looked ahead and was delighted to see Master Qui-Gon at the platform to meet the Queen. He approached her, and told her that he would be accompanying us to Naboo to ensure her safety. I felt better already, and I could tell Amidala did too. I was also happy at the prospect of seeing Obi-Wan again, as well as getting to talk to Anakin. I glanced around and caught sight of Ani and the R2 droid. I nodded as I passed them.
We boarded the ship, then I saw Obi-Wan. I glanced for a second at the Padawan and noticed something seemed wrong. I tried the link we had started.
//Obi-Wan?//
He met my eyes for just a moment as we passed. //Greetings, Sabé// There was a touch of dejection in his tone.
"Handmaidens," the Queen said, "you're with me, we meet in the throne room." She allowed herself a slight smile at Ani and then requested that R2 join us. She had to move us along quickly before Ani figured out that Padmé was missing.
I reached out once again to Obi-Wan. //Talk later?.//
//I think I'd like that. I'll be in touch.// , he replied.
We reached the Throne Room, Amidala locked the door behind us. She ascended the the throne. In her normal voice, she asked, "Sabé, what would you say if I told you the Gungans have an army?"
My jaw dropped. This was totally unexpected. I was privy to much secure information on threats and defenses, and nothing had ever been released on a Gungan military operation. But then, no one expected the Trade Federation's ploys either. It seemed this was the last thing the Naboo needed.
Recovering, I stated, "Your Highness, this is a surprise. You got this information from the Gungan traveling with us? Can he be trusted?"
The Queen smiled. "Yes, and it surprised me also. I believe in Jar-Jar Binks and he has become an ally." Before I could speak of my doubts, she shot me a look that kept me silent. "Your assignment for now is to plot a way to the throne room using the secret passages. R2 is here to help you with data and graphics. Show me when you are finished."
R2 and I worked together on the assignment. After we were done, I ran it by the Queen and she approved. Rabé and Eirtaé had been working on other projects and we would coordinate it all just before we got to Naboo. Amidala hinted at this point that part of her plan hinged on disguising me again. Putting the pieces that I had together, I began to see what this might lead to, at least as far as my role was to be. I was going to have to work very hard to be ready for the event.
After a couple of other minor assignments and preparation with my team mates, I was relieved of duty for a time. I changed back to my practice workout gear and did my exercises with great intensity. I was determined that I would not fail Naboo.
It seemed this time I had worked a bit too strenously. I exited the throne room, feeling a strain in my lower back. Slipping my robe on over the bodysuit and dabbing at my face with the towel, I decided that Rabé would be allowed to baby me this time. I had been hard enough on myself . A few steps out of the room and I met Qui-Gon with Anakin in tow.
I gave them a smile and a nod as I passed, holding my back. I tried to stand up straighter hoping they wouldn't notice the strain, but the Master was too observant. He touched my shoulder, "Young Handmaiden, you're in pain."
I smiled uncomfortably and replied, "Really Master Jedi, it's nothing. I just overextended a bit. I'll be alright, thank you."
He wouldn't be put off. "I insist," he said as he gently, but firmly manuevered me back to the Throne Room. Anakin followed.
Resigned, I opened the door. The Master guided me to one of the cushioned seats on the wall and pulled it down. "Now, sit here. This won't take long. Anakin, go to the galley and get us some tea. Herbal for the two of us and Green Endor for the young lady here. It will help with her soreness."
Anakin recognized me from the Senate Quarters and gave me a warm smile. We nodded at each other and he started toward the exit. "Oh, and Ani," Qui-Gon said. "Leave the door open."
"Yes, Master, Sir," Ani said and was gone.
"Master Jedi, you, of all people, have more to do than make a fuss over me...," I started.
He gave me one of those looks, the one that encouraged yet reproached at the same time. "And Lady, you know better than to strain yourself. Now, remove the robe so I can heal you."
I already knew there was little point in arguing, so I let the robe slip off. Qui-Gon started his examination using a healing touch. It was a far different sensation than Obi-Wan's caress. It was a soothing, comfortable feeling rather than an exciting one. It was almost paternal.
I started feeling safe enough to bring up what must be a more sore subject than my back. "Master, I have sensed tension and uncertainty from Obi-Wan. I may be overstepping my bounds in asking, but is there a rift between you and your padawan?"
I felt him stiffen ever so slightly. I backed off, "Forgive me, I shouldn't have asked."
He was silent for a moment. Then he relaxed and responded. "No, it's alright. Your concern for Obi-Wan is genuine. It's true, we are avoiding each other right now." His voice took on a tinge of regret. "In trying to do the greater good, I've hurt him. I wish things hadn't gone this way."
I turned my head to the side so he could see by my smile that I meant the next statement in the best way possible. I made it as warm and approving as I could. "You just like being everyone's daddy, don't you?"
He was slightly taken aback. I don't think he expected to be spoken to in that manner. He considered it, then accepted. "Not quite *everyone's* 'daddy', as you put it. I do think that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me since our arrival at Coruscant. I thank you."
"You're quite welcome. I'm sure everything will turn out for the best. Obi-Wan may be an adult, but he's not quite ready to give up his father figure yet. I don't think you want give him up either, if you can help it."
I must have been getting too close at that point, he politely changed the subject. "You know, you and Obi-Wan should *talk* more. It would do you both good," he said with the teacher/parent tone.
I couldn't help it, I smiled because I knew I had it coming. "You have me there, Master. In my defense, let me say that he is the only one who affects me so. The only one who can, I think. We do start talking, but before long, well ,you know what it turns into. If I were Force sensitive, I would hazard a guess that that's what comes into play, the Force influence. It seems to be something that moves me, rather than a planned decision on my part. Maybe I'm just making it up to avoid responsibility for my actions. I don't know." I shrugged.
"We have a saying, 'Nothing happens by chance,'" Qui-Gon said, counseling me now. "Meditate on that. Now, let me teach you something before Ani gets back. Here's how to put up a shield. Don't be frustrated if you don't perfect it right away. It takes practice."
He gave me a quick lesson, and with perfect timing, as soon as it was over, Ani arrived with the tea. Amidala had gone back to her Padmé persona and accompanied him. When she entered, the first sight was Master Qui-Gon's hands moving lightly over my back. She shot me a look as if she couldn't believe I was using her throne room for that again. I returned with a gesture of complete innocence. The Master noticed our body language and the game we made of it and stifled a chuckle. Fortunatly, it went over Anakin's head.
The four of us relaxed and enjoyed our tea and light conversation. I was glad to see the knowing looks that Padmé and Ani exchanging. Ani and Qui-Gon entertained us with a few stories of their exploits. Padmé and I appreciated their company. It was a break that we needed before we got back to the work of dealing with the invasion.
Suddenly Obi-Wan came to the door. "Master," he called just before he got there. When he got far enough to see the four of us making a sort of party of the gathering, he just stopped. "Oh, excuse me," he blurted, and moved away quickly.
"Master," I said, looking at the door, then Qui-Gon, "Are we done? I thank you for your ministration, I am ever so grateful, there are duties that I need to tend to..."
"Yes Handmaiden, we are finished," he said. Rising with me, we both stood up and he helped me with my robe. "Now remember, no unnecessary risks. You have far too important a role to play in what is to come." Then he whispered so only I could hear,"Black Alderaan is his favorite." I nodded in understanding.
Rushing through the next few steps, I caught a quick sonic shower in the 'fresher of the Royal quarters, changed into the orange handmaiden gown, hurried to the galley and found what I was looking for, some Black Alderaan tea and sweet biscuits. I finally allowed myself to slow down as I was drawing the hot water and the tea steeped. I decided to try reaching out with my thoughts, seeking my Jedi friend. Amazingly, the image came to me. He was in the lower deck, near the power core, alone. The tray of refreshments ready, I went to him.
I entered the area, and actually surprised him. "Sabé," he exclaimed, half smiling. "What is this?"
"My turn to serve Jedi," I replied. "I'm afraid we don't have as grand a selection of food as on Coruscant, I hope this will suffice for now." I placed the tray on the small counter in the room. There was a bench around it, and I motioned for him to sit. He did and sweetened the tea with honey.
I stayed standing and moved behind him, placed my hands on his shoulders. I started gently working some of his tension away. He let himself relax at last.
"Thank you for coming to me. I needed that," he sighed.
It was a sexy sigh. I had to restrain myself. Qui-Gon was right, we did need to talk more, especially now that I wanted to be a friend to this man. "Whatever you're feeling about the situation between you and your Master, it will pass and things will be as they should. You trust that, don't you.?"
"Yes," he said, leaning back and taking my right hand. "This is just hard to get through right now. Why don't you sit with me?"
"Alright," I responded. He released my hand and I moved to sit next his right side on the bench. Suddenly he reached his arms around me, pulling me back into himself. He held me close and buried his face against the back of my left shoulder. I think he would have cried if he could have allowed himself that. I placed my right hand on top of his that were around my waist and with my left hand reached around to stroke his temple, hoping it was comforting.
Lifting his face, he spoke, "When I do lose him, it will be too soon. No matter when that is, it will be too soon."
"That's how it is with someone you love." I let him hold me and work his way through the despair. When I sensed that he was getting centered, I asked, "Tell me some of your memories of those at the Temple, your friends and other teachers. I'd like to hear about it, if you wish to share."
Focusing on the pleasant memories seemed to help him. "Yes, I fought hard to keep many of those. I survived a memory wipe that was tried on me once. Thanks to the Force, it didn't work." He continued with tales of students that were close to him. Among those who were close to him was Bant, a Mon Calamari. There were others as well, such as the two boys who stuck together through it all, Reeft and Garen Muln.
"There, that was quite a bit of history," he said, tired after the bout of storytelling. "And now I'm with you. You've become special. Very dear to me, as a matter of fact."
I closed my eyes, and felt the warm shiver run through me. Obi-Wan had sent a Force caress to me.
He released his hold on me and turned me around to face him. "Is that so?" I asked in jest.
He moved in and kissed me.
The comlinks all the handmaidens wore chimed to indicate that our time off was over. I tried to think up new curses. The old ones I knew did not seem bad enough.
Reluctantly, I pulled back from the kiss. "Duty calls. I hope we can take up where we're leaving off soon."
He nodded in agreement, and we both started towards the upper deck to the Throne room.
Obi-Wan and I got to the door that joined the compartment that we had been in, to the droid hold and its elevator. Coming from the direction of the escape pods, Rabé and Rowan emerged from another door. They were straightening themselves up quickly, tucking bits of uniform into place. I bit my lip and did not say a word as we rode up the elevator and to the Queen's meeting.